How can you sum up a friendship of 28 years? In a post. It's just words
and letters. It doesn't really convey the essence of a person. I only
discovered the tragic news of his passing this morning (the inabilities
of technologies at times). To say that I am saddened is a great
understatement. As I said, I knew Noel for 28 years (though, not so much
recently) which I will now never be able to rectify. Noel was a Torres
Strait Islander, and a proud proud man. I wonder if he knew how proud of
him we all were? He stood a little taller than me (as do most people)
but to everyone he appeared at least 7 foot tall. It was the way he
carried himself, I think. There was a definite sense of majesty about
Noel, something I couldn't put my finger on until I'd known him for a
few years. He was the smallest of his family, which is a little
frightening. Noel would never ever think of sitting in his father's
chair if his father was home. He knew he'd be bodily picked up and
moved. I scoffed when I heard that - then one day I met his father (in
passing) - a large bull-elephant of a man. I am sure (in reality he was
about 6 feet, but he looked 12 foot tall). I took Noel's advice to never
sit in his chair.
I met Noel through a friend through roleplaying, I think it was back in
the days of Nth Sydney, though now I come to think of it, it was
probably in the Blue Room in Upper Campus at UNSW. Times can get a
little blurry when they're that long ago ;) I recall that he was holding
another roleplayer over his head (in a military press) - demonstrating
something. Frightening I know, moreso if you realise that the person he
was holding was as tall as he was, and also that he was supposed to be
playing a slight dainty female character (at the time that WAS
frightening). I think that was about as slight and dainty as Noel ever
got.
As I said, I was fortunate enough to meet some of his family in
Marrickville, though other friends of mine got to meet all of them and
knew them better. Islanders have a certain close-knit family bond which
is palpable. Noel's family had that at the time I met them. I learnt
that the sense of majesty I felt from him made sense when I learnt that
he was of a Royal Line in Torres Strait. Yup - he was a 'Prince' if a
term is used there. I was VERY fortunate to know him very well for about
4-5 years, and then even more fortunate to have him more into my
Canberra house and live with Kate and I in Tir Na'Nogth for about a year
before I moved back to Sydney in the late '89.
There are so many things I could relate about Noel. The way he would
scare the bejeezus out of anyone who didn't know him well and then laugh
good-naturedly at their terror, because he was just 'playing with them'.
Noel was fiercely loyal to his friends, and defended them to the hilt,
even if they'd done something wrong, which was worse because then they'd
have to answer to Noel. I'm reading back on this and it makes him sound
mean and threatening - which was the image he wanted to cultivate. Only
those who go to know him got to see the sly wink when he was frowning.
The way that this immense Islander would be the most caring and gentle
soul that you would ever want to meet because he genuinely cared about
his friends. Not just paid lip-service.
There are so many Noel stories, and people like Jim Patrick, Alan, Brian
Godfrey et al will have many more than I - in fact they would be able to
remind me of a few. My FAVOURITE memory of Noel - and there are so many
- is one of a small kitten, just after my cat Jasra gave birth, I think.
It was one of our ubiquitous house parties and Noel kept having the
kitten curl up on his head (it must have been the hair). The expression
of comical disdain was always priceless, yet he rarely moved the kitten,
because it was asleep. Anyway, so this time he took the kitten and
carefully placed most of it in his mouth. There was no screaming kitten,
no struggling, no shredded tongue, it just sat there. Contentedly.
Purring. Y'see, it knew it was in no danger from Noel. However, it was
so stupidly funny. Laugh? I almost went to Ethiopia. There was of course
the time when he smashed a Jim Beam bottle over his own head to see if
it could be done... and it could. He was brushing glass out of his
steel-wool hairdo for hours. Again - it was a Monty Python moment. Then
again, there were the times of late-night talks- about real things - and
Noel just listening and chiming in with earthy advice that just made so
much more sense than most other things we'd been discussing. He was a
Rugby player (and by that I mean Union). He kept running afoul of other
players who would target him as being someone who they were sure was
bigger than that. And yet - he'd take their best/worst and dish it back
to them - then laugh uproariously about it and have beers and JB with
them after the game. I shudder to think what would have happened if he
had gotten involved in the SCA (more than he did) and taken up fighting.
I know some of the better fighters in the SCA who were very worried that
he would do just that. He was that skilled at anything he set his mind
to - as his passion for model aircraft showed.
I was sad to leave him in Canberra, when I moved back to Sydney, I can
still see him on the front step of the Emu Ridge house, sadly waving
goodbye. However, I knew he'd be fine, even though he looked so very sad
to see us leave on that day.
Noel worked for the Department of Defence, and other Federal/ACT
Departments for most of his life. For a number of years Noel was also
very active in Islander Affairs in Canberra. (I think the title of
'Program Manager, Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Health, ACT
Regional Office' says a lot). He had a knack of cutting through the
dross and telling things as they were. Amusingly, a report by Government
think-tank on Indigenous Persons' drug abuse in the ACT reduced his
statements' to 'Federalese', the amusing thing is to read through them
and realise exactly what he had probably said at the time. Political
correctness? Not likely, and thankfully so. Noel was a proud Australian
AND a proud Torres Strait Islander - and was happy to explain to any who
asked why the two were NOT mutually exclusive. He was like that - able
to talk to all levels of people and cross-cultures from one sentence to
the next. Of course having an involved Government job meant that he
ended up not having as much time to do all the physical things he liked
doing - such as sport. Noel hadn't actually been brilliantly healthy for
some time. He was diagnosed with diabetes, and did look after himself,
but probably not as much as he should have. He was too much of a social
animal for that. Not that he liked to get drunk so much, just that he
was indeed very social and sociable. In the last few years, with the
diabetes and putting on weight from not being as active as he used to
be, he started having problems with his blood pressure and heart some
time ago.
Yesterday afternoon, Noel suffered a major coronary episode at work,
which was too much for his system to handle. According to all accounts
he passed quickly, and suffered little pain.
I wish there was more I could say, but I can't. I'm a little choked up,
and it's all in fragments and disjointed pieces right now. Maybe later
on I'll add something, I hope others do. For those who knew/of Noel, I
will direct them to <b><a
href="http://www.mail-archive.com/recoznettwo@green.net.au/msg01581.html
">this letter to The Canberra Times from 2001</a></b> showing his
passion for his causes. I also direct to the following entries (which
may [or may not] be friends-locked) on a few journals:
http://erudito.livejournal.com/723108.html notes his passing, as does
http://arthwollipot.livejournal.com/388722.html and through a friends'
community, so does http://community.livejournal.com/smithfield/8749.html
.
Tonight I will raise a glass to his memory. You see, I was fortunate
enough to call Noel my friend for many many years... and he will be
missed so very much.
--
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